Confessions of a Hollywood Hills Election Addict

[Johnny California operative KG has been holed up in his Hollywood Hills home for weeks. We have not seen him and on the few occasions we talked him, he could only speak in talking points.  This blog post is part of his rehabilitation.  Be gentle].

My name is KG and I’m an election addict.

They say that the first step to beating your addiction is admitting you have one.  I knew I was deep in trouble two weeks ago, when I was super happy about my contract running out on my latest freelance production job, thus finding myself unemployed, right in time for the elections home stretch.

Then, last week, I decided to watch a re-run of the third debate, rather than tornado porn (amateur video of tornadoes- like you didn’t know!).  Instead of running to rehab or ‘talking’ to friends and family about my problem, I dug in. I was like OJ at a Vegas memorabilia expo, I was David Duchovny looking at casting tapes for Californication.

I have three computers, all refreshing automatically on different electoral models plus one for myself, searching the internet(s) for any new gem, a quote, a video, a Palin gaffe, a racist McCain supporter, a Biden flub. With every new find, I calculate the ability of that moment to alter future polling; will it change the minds of Floridians?  When will Barack’s infomercial be reflected in the Rasmussen Poll? Today? Tomorrow night? I need a snap poll! Where is the snap poll??!!

I can’t sleep, so I take an Ambien, only to find myself Ambien-poll-sleep-watching at 3am.  My Facebook has become the Centcom of my 2008 election experience.

There was a point sometime last week where I gave up on looking for work or even leaving my house.  Matthews, Blitzer, Olbermann and Maddow would not be at the Sunset Coffee Bean, but I would be… lost, not knowing how to move on without my intravenous online observations.

www.Fivethirtyeight.com just released a new win percentage for McCain while I was writing this.  He is now at 6.3%.  Yesterday, he was at 3.6%, clearly Mccain is closing in.  The wife wants me to go out to see a movie. A MOVIE??? I’m in the SITUATION ROOM, jacked on HARDBALL,  Chuck Todd NEEDS me!  Losing it. Get a grip.  Go to www.electoral-vote.com, 353-185…phew. That was close.

I want to listen to music or take a walk or make some food.  But there’s less than 2 days left!  I’m all in, over the top and pot-committed.  Can’t go to the in-store at Amoeba Records, must find current polling for Minnesota senate race… Go Franken go!

Honestly, the truth is that I feel an Obama victory is all but set in stone, that the election will be a one way victory for democrats and that all I had hoped for will come to pass, even if I don’t look at another web page, even if I don’t scan Huffington Post or Drudge, even if I go outside.

But now my thoughts have turned to the ground game, the independents and the Bradley effect.

I guess that after the bitter defeats and lame candidates of 2000 and 2004, coupled with the never-ending worst presidency in history, these last few days will naturally be the longest.

Oh crap!!! Arianna Huffington is on Larry King with Ben Stein! Gotta go!