No Message, No Marriage Part 2: What No-On-8 Didn’t Learn From The Obama Machine
November 10, 2008 by Johnny California
Filed under Ballot Propositions
Guest blogger Samantha Kinkaid talks of the No-8-Campaign Failure and calls for everyone to stand up, dust themselves off and move on. We here at Johnny California are all for it.
At a time when the nation has embraced courage and hope in electing Barack Obama as the next President of the United States, it is unfathomable how California passed Proposition 8. A proposition I believe to be of hate and discrimination. Haven’t we moved forward? It seems like we did with one foot, but not the other.
Stuck in this awkward position, I notice I am elated at the Obama campaign’s victory, a victory of the people. But I am also saddened and disappointed by California’s votes in favor of this proposition. I suppose I thought it was mutually exclusive to elect a man of mixed-race to the highest office in the land and deny the civil rights of same-sex couples. I thought it was a hurdle we could have easily leapt, but only one leg got over. So now I’m straddled, not knowing what to make of it. What does it say about us?
Are we just a progressive bunch of bigots? Ready to be green and reduce, reuse and recycle, ready to be responsible for our expenditures and work hard to save for our children, ready to make the world a better place…again. Ready to be inspired to action for the betterment of all, but not for you. You gay, lesbian and transgender individuals. You are not the same as me. You can’t have the same rights I do. You are different from me. You threaten the stability of my marriage, of my family.
So how do we as a State get the other leg over this hurdle?
I agree with Johnny California that the Latino and African American vote was underestimated and that the Cal Dem Party put all their chips in to getting Obama elected. However, the responsibility rests with No-On-8 for having a poor strategy. If you read this article from Advertising Age® on the strength of Obama’s message, you’ll see just how weak No-On-8′s was.
Forty, fifty years ago it was unimaginable that a mixed-race man would serve as our President. What changed in us to allow this to happen? What has to happen to allow our attitude to shift further?
Bottom-line: This is an issue of bigots sticking their messy fingers into civil rights. Let’s face it, most people are stuck on an image of same sex couples having intercourse, judging them for what they (the bigots) think is wrong; rather than acknowledging the right of same-sex couples to visit their partners while in hospital or rights to their partner’s inheritance. Most same-sex couples are in long-standing monogamous relationships. They are responsible and respectable citizens in our State. Why are we denying their basic civil rights?
The constitution does not specifically include sexual orientation as a basis upon which to not discriminate. The Fourteen and Nineteenth Amendments speak to race, religion and gender, but not sexual orientation. Who is going to pen Amendment Twenty Eight? Who is going to write an amendment to Article 1, Section 8 of the California Constitution to include sexual orientation? Who is going to write the repeal of Proposition Eight?
One thing we need to learn from Barack Obama is to stop complaining, get organized, form an excellent, focused plan and execute it with integrity. I fundamentally believe good will prevail. We will get over this hurdle. It just will take a bit more time.
I too was disappointed with the outcome of the Prop 8, but I look at the brighter side. Wasn’t it just four years ago that California overwhelming voted for a similar amendment? I think we actually dropped the yes vote by 13 points. Sorry I don’t have the actual numbers, but the way I feel is we are closer today than we were just four short years ago. We are moving to a more tolerant society faster than I think we have ever in the past. I know in another four years we will be even more of a tolerant society. I am hopeful our kids will live in a world where tolerance is the norm and prejudice will be something that no one will tolerate. For the first time in my life I feel we could be on the verge of something so different and so beautiful that we all will be surprised by the change. There is a hope in me that has never been there before regarding all types of tolerance and understanding. It starts with each of us and it starts with tolerance of all people beliefs, even those who have opposing beliefs.
I have a few Jewish orthodox friends who are opposed to the notion of the word marriage being used for all unions. They are not opposed to the any other title being given to a union with all the rights of a marriage. Maybe it is time for us to all have a civil union in California. Then if you would like you can have an additional service at your house of worship and you can call it what you want. I would be more than willing to drop the word marriage from my marriage certificate so that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters can have all the same rights that my wife and I take for granted.
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I agree that the No-on-Prop-8 did not make our case
adequately. Yes-on-8 did two things we did not do:
1. They cast themselves as the underdog by suggesting religious
freedom is imperilled by same sex-marriage.
2. They suggested the state would encroach on parental rights
by teaching children about homosexuality, without parental
consent.
In short, Yes-on-8 made a strong emotional case that moved
people to action. The LA Times did an excellent job of
exposing these claims as falsehoods. However, folks clearly
bought into their message of fear.
NPR interviewed a number of persons voting for and against
Prop 8. Among persons voting “yes,” I heard repeated references
to these fears. I even heard one woman mention a gay brother-in-law. She said that, while she didn’t care what he did in the privacy of his own home, she did not want her son taught about
homosexuality in school.
With the country embroiled in 2 wars and steeped in economic
crises, folks feel too much is beyond our control.
Yes-on-8 offered to put you in control: you can control
who will marry in your church and what is taught to your
children. (Nevermind the fact that Prop 8 actually grants
no such rights, nor do same sex unions threaten religious
freedom or change what children are taught in school.
Again, see the LA Times on this.)
So should No-on-8 folks have spent more time allaying these
fears? No, you are in an inherently more weak position when you
chase the other side’s claims.
Here’s what I think we failed to do: spell out the consequences
of Prop 8 for those families who will be affected.
I’ll make up two examples, but I know from discussions
with gay friends that cases like this exist.
* Here are elderly Selma and Susie, together for 36 years,
but Susie is now in the hospital and Selma is not able to visit.
We see Selma arguing with a nurse outside a white, closed hospital
door. The nurse repeats to Selma, irritated: “I’m sorry, but
only immediate family are allowed to visit patients in
intensive care.” Selma, with tears in her eyes, pleads
“But I’m her family! I’m the only family she’s got since
they disowned her in “72!”
* Show us Carlos and John at their kitchen table. John is
jiggling a swaddled baby. We hear the sound of another child
singing the abc’s in the background. Carlos holds a
letter and reads: “Dear Mr. Gonzales: you have not
adequately shown that your partner John Williams and his
dependents have cohabitated with you for the past
six months. We regret to inform you that your request
to add them to your health policy is declined.” Carlos
shakes his head and adds: “I sent them the electric
bill and the lease. What more do they want?” John:
“Maybe we should send the gas bill, too. Oh, wait, that’s
in your name only. That won’t work.” Pause. Carlos:
“How much did we spent on Michael’s pediatrician
visit last week?” “$250.” Carlos sighs. “Marie needs to go,
too. She coughed so hard this morning she had trouble keeping down her rice cereal.”
It’s easy to look back after the fact and talk about what we could have done differently, though. I should be the last to cast stones. Next to the effectiveness of the Yes-on-8 campaign, blame rests with me and my ilk. I live in LA and socialize mostly with like-minded people. I saw Prop 8 trailing in the polls and simply didn’t worry.
I donated some money to the Human Rights Campaign, but
I assumed it wouldn’t fly. The weekend before the election, I saw 8 pull ahead in the polls, and then I got worried. I donated directly to No-on-8. I also got up the nerve to approach a friend whose
position I was unsure of. I’m a busy parent, but I could have planted a sign in my yard. I could have talked to more coworkers and neighbors. I could have written letters to the papers.
I agree with Eric that, depiste Prop 8′s passage,
Californians and Americans are more tolerant than
ever before. I hope now that, once everyone understands
what Prop 8 really means for families, this damaging law will be overturned.
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